To My Most and Least Favorite Child: An Evaluation of Year 8

I’ve begun following a blog named My Least Favorite Child, and it chronicles the life of a father with twin boys. It is obviously written with a lot of wit and humor as the dad relates his everyday experience with his twins. At the end of his blog, he will always say who his least favorite child was for the week. The reasons are often hilarious, and written with much concealed fondness for both kids, but I can relate even if I only have one child.

Many parents would vehemently deny, even under oath, that they do in fact have a favorite child. And I would say to those parents: “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” Maybe your favorite child changes from day-to-day, or from season to season, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have one that you rely on when you’re in a bind, or a particular child that makes you laugh your socks off whenever you come home defeated from work.

So like I said, I have one child and even if she is my one and only, there are days when she is an absolute angel, and then there are days, though few are far between, that she is very, very human. Someday, maybe I will let her read this, and hopefully, she will see the humor in it (or not, depending on her mood for the day…hehe).

And so Bumbum, this is how I have assessed your 8th year with us.

Travel Companion

(+) I have often said this—you are an ideal travel buddy. Because you have experienced being left behind on business-related trips, you are always very grateful when you are included in our travel plans. The minute we find our plane seat, you obediently buckle yourself in and proceed to reading the safety instructions of the plane. (-)You could do away with collecting barf bags because frankly, you and I rarely barf on planes, making our already growing stash of barf bags unnecessary. But, as your father would point out, I collect paper cups from the plane lavatory, so he knows where you’re coming from.

(+) You walk without complaining, and rarely do you ask to be carried. You still walk, even with eyes closed from exhaustion. (+) You don’t like to bring and buy too many things, which is a plus for me because I need your luggage space to fill with my own shopping stuff.

Student

(+) You have excellent memory most of the time, which makes it quite easy for mom and dad to review you. This results in other parents complimenting me for my parenting and training (which I accept, even though you did most of the work). (-) However, dear daughter, you do forget at times so please utilize your homework notebook. We are not mind readers. (-) And can you please make room in your brain to remember your pencils and other school stuff as well? It feels like you think we own a National Bookstore the way you run through your school supplies.

(+)(-) You have obsessive-compulsive tendencies, which is tricky. The (+) of this is that you will want your schoolwork to be done immediately. The (-) is that you would also want us to accomplish things as quickly even when the deadline is oh, maybe still a full week ahead. Remember honey, mommy works full time.

(+)(-) Because you feel good when you volunteer, you always volunteer, even though your parents are not as willing. (-) Even when I do volunteer, I still receive a sarcastic remark from you (Bumbum – “Oh mama, I’m soooo glad you finally volunteered to do something for my school). Harrump.

Daughter/Relative

(+) Literally, you are so easy to please. We recently moved to a very small one-studio room temporarily while our new home is being built, and my daughter said with genuine delight, “I love our condo! It’s so small!” You are enjoying the fact that your bed is small enough that you can actually fix it on your own. You even wash your own cup right after you use it because you know we can’t crowd the sink.

(+)(-) You’re quite the smarty pants. (+) You can carry a lively conversation even with adults, which allows mommy to not participate as much. (-) However, you have a tendency to scare people when you talk about your love for Science, like when you quiz them on the Elements Table, or when (gasp!) you remind them to protect their sex so as not to get the HIV virus.

(+)(+)This gets two positive points because it’s that positive. You make your grandparents very happy, which means they let us off easy on many counts just because you’re our daughter.

For that last point alone, we have decided to keep you with us for another year =) I think Santa has very generous (and nerdy) plans for you this Christmas.

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