The advent of social media has made it so much easier for people to find each other. And while that definitely has its advantages, we all know that there are certain individuals we’d rather not have find us, and I’m not talking about the Mafia. Take for example a friend of mine–Facebook allowed her to be messaged by a former mean girl from her school. The said girl was inviting her for dinner because they were in similar fields, but she was conflicted in saying yes because my friend still remembers how mean this girl was when they were younger.
Say what you want to say about your maturity, but when you’re face to face with your personal bully or mean girl, its hard to tell your stomach to relax and unclench. If you asked me to recount all the mean girls in my life, I bet I could give you my detailed experiences on them from Grade 1 till present time, and it is these moments that I wish my memory weren’t so good.
Thankfully, I have very little time on my hands to actually dwell on these people, but what if, like the friend I’ve mentioned, one of my former bullies got in touch via social media? How do I respond? So, this article boils down to a note to my future self:
How Anj Should Respond to The Possibility of a Former Bully Meetup:
8 hours before the meetup: Tell self-Anj, you have so many blessings (recount all your blessings). You are surrounded by love.
7 hours before the meetup: Read Pope Francis’ teachings on mercy and compassion
6-3 hours before the meetup: Spend this time to beautify self. Pluck/shave/wax every stray hair from body. Give self a thorough bath. Apply deodorant generously in case the bully makes you break into nervous sweat. Youtube makeup tutorial to glam yourself up. Erase makeup and go to the parlor to let an expert do it. In short, be the best version of yourself.
2 hours before the meetup: Recount the experiences you’ve had with this bully and how you would have responded now that you’re an adult.
1 hour before the meetup: Give your phone to a good friend to avoid the urge to cancel meetup. Remove sharp jewelry from the body to avoid the temptation of inflicting bodily harm to former bully. Repeating a calming mantra might be helpful.
Remember to leave on time for your meetup to show your bully that you are a professional. If nervous, one last puke in the toilet might be a good idea.
Finally, you are face to face with your former bully. If at all possible, steer clear of any references to the past. But if the b**tch, I mean, bully insists, you might say in a friendly, smiling way, remember when you were this and that? She might actually be apologetic (if she were mature enough) or she might not remember what she did altogether. Then, ‘accidentally’ have your handsome husband (or a good looking friend) pick you up from your meeting place, just in case she didn’t get that you’re in a much better place now. But whatever the case may be, always remember to BE FORGIVING! Peace!